Letter to my Dad
On Father's Day
Hello Family Historian,
A few weeks ago, I wrote about writing letters to preserve the memories of individuals in our family. In honor of Father’s Day (In the United States), I wanted to add to my collection of letters here on Substack.
My letter is to my father, who died in 1983 when I was 23 years old, and he was one day shy of 45 years old. My father had a fast-spreading Melanoma that took him from us quickly. It was a life-defining time. I have sorted through the grief the best I could and have learned how to live a life without him.
Despite that, I have always felt his absence. I felt it at my wedding in 1987 when my uncle walked me down the aisle instead of him. When each of my sons was born, I wished he could have known them and them to have known him. When my three granddaughters were born, I wondered what he would have thought about being a great-grandfather. I know they would have just loved knowing him. He was such a good man. Hopefully, they will know him a little through the letter I wrote to him.
While writing the letter, I connected to my memories of him more fully. It allowed the details to come more easily than just trying to remember.
wrote a great post on using writing to recall memories.
Writing about our family can easily slip by us as we navigate our busy lives. It’s important though. I can only imagine how my great-grandmother Ruth Hinkson felt about her father Richard Summers Hinkson. What would she have written about him? What would I have learned about him through her words? To my knowledge, these written words don’t exist. That can’t be changed, but I can give my descendants a glimpse of who my father was through my words.
Writing these letters to family members who have passed away has been an effective way to find the words to share who they were. The intimate nature of a letter seems to provide an emotional bridge to reveal how the writer felt towards the person. A future descendant will know the relationship we had through our letters.
Even better than writing to someone who has passed, write a letter to someone who is living. What a gift it would be. I recommend writing one to your father if that is possible.
Here is the letter.
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