Hello Family Historian,
Here’s to a lovely day of genealogy. If you are a mother, I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day.
As she approached her death at 66 years of age, my cousin and best friend, Linda Faivre, knew what none of us were willing to accept. Her death was approaching. She was able to embrace the possibility of the end of her life in a way that I could not.
My cousin, a genealogist with 40-plus years of experience, wrote a letter to each of her two children and three grandchildren right before she passed away. Without telling anyone what she had done, she tucked the letters away in a place on her desk where she knew they would be discovered after she had passed.
Despite her dedication to her family history, it wasn’t her love of genealogical documentation that prompted the letters, it was her love for her family. Yet, she has left her descendants with a lasting message directly for them that is now part of her history. Her current and future descendants will surely treasure these letters.
She was surrounded by tremendous love during the last of her life. A reflection of all the love she had given us throughout our lives was present in all we felt for her. It was palpable.
I was not ready for her to leave though. When she attempted to talk to me about her dying, I unfortunately shut down the conversation. I told her to be strong and keep fighting. She was on the lung transplant list and if she could hang on to the threads of her life until it was her turn, I knew that her death could be thwarted at least for a while. We all held on tightly to that hope.
The transplant never happened for reasons out of anyone’s control. Even though we clung desperately to the idea that the transplant was going to save her and all of us from the loss we wanted to run from, it seemed not meant to be. After the surgery was almost going to happen two times, but didn’t, she became too sick to qualify and then left this life soon after.
I regret not having the conversation she wanted to have that day. She deserved to be able to talk to me about it, but I wasn’t ready. I cannot change what happened in the past, but it has still bothered me. I’ve thought, though, about what I would have said in that conversation if I had embraced it and if I could have openly expressed how I felt.
I remembered the letters Linda wrote and left for her daughter, son, granddaughter, and two grandsons. They gave me an idea about having the conversation I wish I had with Linda in the form of a letter. It seemed to hold the potential for forgiving myself for letting her down.
So today, I write this letter to Linda with all my love for her. It is not lost upon me that this letter can be used for her future descendants to know who she was through my letter. I know Linda would have been okay with that.
After the Letter
Once I wrote the letter, I thought I’d try recording myself reading it. I had watched the recorded session of, Substack Audio the Easy Way, with
and was inspired to give it a go. I have learned so much from Sarah Fay’s workshops!I’ve tried recording myself reading before and struggled. I’m such an introvert and recording my voice makes me cringe. The only thing worse is getting my picture taken, but that conversation is for another day, or maybe a therapist.
Something happened though when I recorded myself reading the letter. I found myself immersed in the message I had written to Linda. I forgot about self-editing as I go, something I tend to do. The reading began to flow and I stopped worrying about what it sounded like. There were times when emotion tainted my voice and times when I chuckled through the sentence. It was so much more like myself than the robot I usually sound like. It was imperfect, and I liked it. I veered from the words I read a couple of times so the text does not exactly match my recording. I am okay with that. When I listened to it, it was the first time I didn’t cringe.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely edited the recorded draft afterward. I didn’t need to keep the flubs and filler sounds to be authentic. I learned through this that a voiceover can be accomplished similarly to how it’s done during the writing process. When I write, I let whatever comes through my mind and my typing fingers come. That’s what I love most about it. I don’t edit while writing my first draft, a standard practice for writers. I know I will return to what I’ve written and edit it all day if I want to, so I can just let it flow.
I learned that this same process can be used during recording a reading. Just read it. If a mistake is made, prompt yourself to correct it in the recording and reread it. The Writers at Work workshop addresses this.
Some other takeaways from that workshop helped with how best to edit. I used Audiate to edit it because I already had it. It’s not free, it’s $29.99 per month. I probably won’t keep that subscription. Sarah Fay recommended one that was free. Again, if you want to access this workshop, visit Substack Audio the Easy Way.
In the end, I realized something. As much as a letter is important as a treasure to give to someone you love, and for the genealogical documentation value for future descendants, a recording of the person reading the letter is exponentially better. If I could hear the voice of any of my ancestors giving me information about my family, well…it just gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
I think about Linda’s potential descendants who will come in future generations. They won’t hear her voice in the recording of my letter, but they will know how loved and respected their ancestor was.
For my granddaughters’ future potential descendants…I love the idea of them being able to hear my voice, cringe or not. I hope they get the chance to listen.
The letters Linda wrote to her children and grandchildren have inspired me. The value of that kind of letter probably cannot be captured in words. I was there when her daughter discovered them. The look on her face and the awe that blanketed the room when she showed them to everyone was… well, I have no words to describe it.
The technology we now have makes it possible for us to leave messages to our descendants in our own voices as part of our legacy. Substack is set up for voice recordings in a way that makes it the perfect platform for family historians to leave messages for their descendants. I hope you have the opportunity to leave voice recordings for future generations.
Grateful
I want to acknowledge and express my gratitude to Zelda York, my editor. I couldn’t do this without her! Thank you!
I love the community of family historians on Substack! You are the best! Thank you.
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